how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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