I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
