if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
