Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
