ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
