isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
