I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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