if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You can't just leave with hair like that
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
