and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
