How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I need moral support for this bender
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
