well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
