Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
