If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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