i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
