I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
