Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
