Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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