Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
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This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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