Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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