Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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