Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
