My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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