Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I cut my penus on the lid.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
