When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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