Are we in a gay sports bar?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
