I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
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For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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