i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
