Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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