then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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