i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
