and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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