Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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