one two three fourrrrnication!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
