Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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