the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
