dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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