How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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