Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
