she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
