Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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