their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
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the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
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Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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