I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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