Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
