So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
