I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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