i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
