You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
