Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
