Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There's even glitter on my cock...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
