Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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