and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
