everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
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You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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