does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
