In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
