Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
