i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
