I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
