someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
