Its about making memories worth repressing
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
