remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
