she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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