Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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