Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
