wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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